Liz Milne (1951-2004)

If you do genealogy as a hobby, one day you will be confronted with adding the death of a close family member. And sadly, I was in this position earlier this year, when my mum died of ovarian cancer. I’ve been living in Canada for over a decade, but was able to get back to Scotland for her last few days and was with her when she died.

I’ve been going back and forth about posting this. The death of your mother is a huge life event and, honestly, I just didn’t expect the tidal wave of emotions to process. I’ve been reading so many books about death, grief, mothers etc and someone mentioned the word “untethered”, which seems very accurate.

Anyway, I’ll probably be writing (or drawing) more about this in the future, but for now, I wanted to post her obituary.

Theatre champion Liz, 73, leaves an ‘incredible legacy’

Evening Express (July 2024), By Lottie Hood

One of Aberdeen’s biggest theatre stalwarts, Liz Milne has died following a battle with ovarian cancer. The co-founder of Phoenix Theatre and Phoenix Youth Theatre died at her Milltimber home with her husband and children by her side.

MUCH LOVED: Phoenix Theatre co-founder Liz Milne was described as being like a ‘surrogate mum’ to so many people who met her

Due to the many years of having a hand in over 100 productions and teaching at Harlaw Academy, Liz was beloved and seen as a mother to many. Her family have paid tribute to the hard-working, sharp-witted and loved mother-of-three.

Liz Milne was born in 1951 as Elizabeth Allan. Liz was the only daughter of Douglas Allan, who was a draftsman, and his wife Mabel who worked as a clerkess (or an accountant in today’s terms). While Liz did not have any siblings, her family all stayed in the Carnoustie and Arbroath area, including her cousin John.

Liz attended Arbroath High where she was described as bright but “very rebellious”. On one of her last days at the secondary school , the self-proclaimed swot, in everything apart from maths, was nearly expelled after almost helping put a teacher’s boat in a tree. Despite not getting involved, she was honest about planning to go, so was stripped of her badges. Angry at the injustice, she sewed them back on just in time to shake the headteacher’s hand proudly after receiving a prize.

When it was time to go to university, Liz decided to follow her high school boyfriend to Aberdeen. However, it was not long before “the poor soul was dumped” after she met the “smart, handsome rugby player” Dr Robert Milne – known as Bob – from Dundee at their Hillhead accommodation. Pulled in by similar interests and similar quick wits, the friendship soon blossomed into something more and the pair were married in an Arbroath church in 1975. Their honeymoon was spent camping around Scotland, something which ended up becoming a family tradition in later years.

Liz and husband Bob Milne

Throughout her time at university, Liz had taken some classes in drama taught by Annie Inglis and joined the drama company Attic. It was there she met her best friend and co-founder of Phoenix, Clare Haggart. The duo proved to be a formidable pairing and often claimed parts as leading ladies and dancers including in Guys and Dolls at HMT and Fiddler on The Roof.

While juggling married life and her involvement with Attic, Liz was also a French and English teacher at Harlaw Academy.

After they got married, Liz and Bob moved into a flat on Holburn Street before moving to Peterculter where Bob was a GP, going on to be a partner in the Cults Medical Practice. After a few years, the couple moved to a house in Milltimber where they settled.

In 1982, everything changed when the couple welcomed their “miracle child” Jennie into the world after six years of infertility. A few years later, they welcomed a son, Jonnie, and daughter – Katie, born 10 days after Phoenix’s first production of Annie in 1991. With Jennie’s birthday one day before Katie, her eldest daughter said she remembers her mum cleaning the house as soon as she was back from the hospital so Jennie could have a birthday party.

“She never stopped,” said her son Jonnie. “It was a very busy house. The theatre side of things has been our life. And because of that family atmosphere that Mum and her partner Clare have created, Phoenix became our extended family... who all see Mum as their surrogate mum.

“Mum would always tell the story of when I was a pre-teen and a few girls from my year came around under the guise of coming to see me, but then spent the entire time chatting with Mum. And I got really, really grumpy going ‘No, she’s my mum, she’s not your mum’. But looking back, it’s so lovely.”

With Phoenix, if Liz wasn’t on stage, she was sewing all the costumes for each production. Her children learned it was all hands on deck, with theatre being the “family business”. Husband Bob was pulled into helping make sets and take photos of the productions. This continued even after she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer last autumn. And she would always find a way to look at the bright side of things.

In 2019, she and Clare received British Empire Medals (BEM) in the Queen’s Birthday Honours for their work as co-directors of the Phoenix Theatre and Phoenix Youth Theatre.

Described by someone at Phoenix as a “mother to all of us as well”, her family, Phoenix family and past students helped raise money for a seat plaque at His Majesty’s Theatre in celebration of her 73rd birthday. Also raising over £3,000 for Friends of Anchor who helped Liz through her treatment, she said at the time she could not stop crying on the day.

Liz with granddaughter Grace Elizabeth and with son Jonnie and daughter Katie

Speaking just a few weeks ago, Liz said: “I’m overwhelmed by the amount of messages and the things that people have said.” At the time, she added: “I’ve had a wonderful, wonderful life and how many people get to live to 73? I would have loved a bit longer… I would have loved to have seen my grandchildren grow up a bit more. But if it’s not to be, it’s not to be. We could all get run down by a bus tomorrow so just be thankful for what you’ve been given.”

If she was not sewing, being a mum or teacher, Liz usually had a book or Kindle in her hands. Her favourite authors were Tess Gerritsen, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King and Patrick Dennis. So much so, as her condition regressed, she suggested downloading the Audible versions of Terry Pratchett’s books which she saw as “very witty but good-hearted”.

Jonnie said: “As things were getting worse towards the end, about a week to go, Mum sat me down and said ‘What I want more than anything... as I’m starting to become more unresponsive, I don’t want silence. It was Terry Pratchett’s Going Postal, which was the one that she drifted off to in the end. Which is lovely, because it’s one of her favourites. And it’s literally my favourite book. She lived for those for those books. The fact they were able to help see her into the hereafter was, was really, really special.”

Paying tribute to their mum, her children said they each had different parts of their mum in them. Jennie her mum’s organisation skills, Jonnie her empathy and Katie her stubbornness. Each wanting to pay tribute, Jennie said: “It has been overwhelming reading through all the loving messages mum has received over the last few months, from people she has known down the years.” Katie said: “She has touched so many lives. It’s an incredible legacy that we’ll always be proud of and strive to live up to.”

Liz as a toddler and in a Phoenix Theatre show

P.S. There were a couple of minor errors, so I’ve fixed them. Lottie did nothing wrong (in fact, it’s a spectacular obituary), but we gave the wrong info.